Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Them Ole First Time Teacher Blues

I. Me!! Me!! Me!! I Know The Answer, I Know!! 

When I woke up this morning I was like "Damn! I gotta go to SCHOOL today!! Ugh!" I was going to visit my teaching mentor's class to observe his teaching style to help me tighten my own skills. But as soon as I step on a campus my whole body got kind of relaxed but excited at the same time, the way you do when you're returning home. I have spent such an insane amount of time in schools throughout my life that I think at this point I truly wouldn't know how to do anything else. I started at age 2 and with the exception of a two year hiatus when I worked on the Hill straight out of college, I didn't leave school until I was nearly 30.

When I went to Professor Smith's class today I was even mad that he wouldn't call on me when I knew he answer to the question and nobody else did. Then I remembered that I was visiting in my teacher capacity to learn teaching, not to punk the little students who are still learning; after all, I've been studying history far longer than some have been alive. 

II. Adjunct Science and the Crying Game 

Oh! But why did the department chair tell me that the university has instituted a policy that adjuncts are not allowed to work full-time hours: the don't want to have to pay for ObamaCare. Aint that some shit? School teachers are probably more at risk for illness than any other field than doctors and it's not like we have sick days or anything. 

In my head I began a contentious, outraged confrontation with the University which for some reason took on the character of Robert Deniro in Goodfellas with his thick, impenetrable New York accent.

The University was like, "Work sick you nerdy punks!!"

"Saint Sophia will save you!!" said the University. "If the chick was really all that wise then she should teach you all how to buy some hand sanitizer and some echinacea. Get outta here with that health care nonsense! You act like we're some kinda rich institution or something!!"

"Look! I don't wanna hear it!! " the University bellowed interrupting my arguments and concerns. "Get over yourselfs! You are what you eat!! Don't tell me you can't afford to eat. What, we pay you don't we?!! Stop acting so uppity, there's plenty of nutrition in Ramen! Hundreds of dollars a year you earn, so get it together!! Mind over fucking matter!!" 

Heartlessly he continued ranting at me: "You feel like you don't matter? Precisely!! Get outta here with that socialist nonsense!! Pull it together, you fucking malcontents, this is all in your head! Now get the fuck outta here!" And with that the University slammed the door in my face, ending the conversation. 

Well I thought to myself, they say the best things in life are free which I hope to discover is true but my previous life experience assures me that that fantasy is indeed in my head. We are certainly free to find other jobs, well paying jobs whose demands less stressful. More rewarding job that earn fabulous money.

But you can't really know the rewards of teaching until you accept that you truly are a teacher. And there are many days that you may wrestle with that truth and try to suppress it. But in the end that delusion is merely wishful thinking. Because everything that you know to be true really is all in your head and you can no more live outside of that refuge than birds could swim or fish fly. Truthfully, its all in your head and there's no place else you would rather be unless it is inside a classroom.

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