Not Gonna Lie: I Effing Hate LinkedIn

Artist Angel Hardy

LinkedIn is a terrible, terrible place. It is not a good place for neurotics. Ten minutes on LinkedIn makes me feel more inadequate than if I walked naked down the street, I swear to God. I could walk naked down the street, not because my body is hella tight or anything but I mean, I just don't give a fuck if you see me naked. Today's a good day though and my tummy is nearly flat. But then again I haven't eaten today so that could be part of the problem.

I don't know how to look for jobs. I never did it before; people just used to GIVE me jobs all the time. "Hey! Come work for me!" It was easy. I could even switch jobs because people tried to steal me from whatever job I was doing. I told this to my friend Cicely last night and she was like "I literally don't know what you mean by that comment."  And I explained to her that back in the booming economy days I never once went seeking, hunting, stalking a job. Jobs came to me. She was like, "I've always had to bust my ass for jobs."

Yeah, well, guess what?? Karma has no freaking deadline, people. I suck at all the chatty pleasantries and stuff on LinkedIn.  I suck at job hunting period. I just spent a short amount of time today on LinkedIn and I promise I'm going to go cry buckets very soon.

Omigod save me from employment. Sometimes I even start to think that being unemployed is a decent lifestyle, except for the being poor part of it. I do not dig the poverty bullshit.