There's still so much wrong in the Feminist world as white woman and black woman (try to) dialogue with one another. I'm in that space just now where I'm hormonal (the calendar is telling me to keep a lookout for sales on maxipads) and out of the blue, a white female acquaintance just came at me in a way that made me feel devalued in my right to think, to write and to believe as I wish -- it was a full on challenge complete with explanation of my wrongness, and utter misunderstanding my point (and then never once asking ME to elaborate, elucidate my point for her edification)merely presumption and the figurative finger shaking no-no.
So now I'm somewhere in space. Stratospherically speaking. Trying hard not to lose my shit but knowing that I've blown it (yes, the shit) all the way anyway.
Until we as women can look each other in the eye and honestly support one another's rights to speak, to live, to express then there will always be the gap that is FEMINISM and WOMANISM. And I was never anything but a Womanist. Every so often an innocent exchange with a sister of a different color reminds me why.
Most of all right now I'm left devastated from demeaning myself in this non- dialogue as I desperately tried to PROVE my right to my opinion: citing my many years spent studying in the Ivy League to earn a doctorate;making reference to two other degrees;sourcing text upon text t(hat she's never heard of) in order to bolster my argument; modulating the tone of my statements and -- god forgive me but I saw the words black and white in front of me -- begging for fellowship.
And all the while I feel attacked and angry and hurt and betrayed. Feeling weak. Tearful. Dismissed. Degraded.
Because in the end I am 98% sure this white woman will never understand my point but most importantly her initial comments proved that there was no respect for my point of view or my right to express in the first place.
It's difficult to hold on to shaky acquaintances as friends; a lot like the difficulties between Feminism and Womanism.
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