Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Holidays at Halle's, or Get a Grip & Don't Fuck Racists


                                

It's the Holidays So Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry Are Getting Their Fight on Again

This is so cuckoo-clock cray cray that I gotta take a moment from the Moment of Silence over Ferguson...

So this year in the annals of Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry's Race War, Halle is taking Gabriel to court because he wants to chemically relax 6-year old Nahla's hair. Of course this is quite tame compared to two Thanksgivings ago when Halle's current husband Olivier Martinez used Gabriel's face like he was trying to tenderize some meat. So, frankly this squabble rates rather lowly since it has not involved anyone going to the hospital or calling the police. 

However what interests me about this round of Jungle Fever is not really the whole natural hair versus relaxed hair angle. I just want to know one thing.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE who "accidentally" fall in love with and procreate with racists? How the EFF does that even HAPPEN? No, don't tell me you didn't know. Don't tell me no shit like "oh he got like that after we were together". Don't say any dumbass mess like that to me, I am not trying to hear it!! 

Because the fact is that either 1) you were cool riding the hate fuck for as far as you could and didn't bother to think thoughts beyond the sex or 2) you are just generally careless about the people you hook up with and it's a feature of ALL your relationships that you let the ugly peek its head out long past the Too Late timing marker.

Gabriel Aubry has been rumored for a long long ass time to be a racist. She's told that the he's beaten her up and called her the N-word...and she's claimed that she "didn't know til it was too late".but still had a baby with him!! 

 THEN after the baby came she supposedly finds out that he considers the child white and will do whatever it takes to brainwash her out of identifying with her black side.


But, you know, TALKING beforehand about that kind of thing would have been a big old clue that you should not procreate with such a person!!! For those who hate to ruin the moment by too much yakking I suggest even talking while fucking, it's a fantastic method for getting a lover to admit to shit that the otherwise might stay mute on for fear of angering you and endangering the sex part of the relationship. I'm not saying ask right when he's about to climax because then he might just say any-old thing and you will still have to bring it up later, but one way or another you need to sort of get a -hold of that Are You A Closet Racist thing early.

But again, that's gonna mean TALKING, not SCREWING.

Plenty of little girls get their hair straightened; my mother straightened my hair at 3 years old. Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry are not fighting over hair relaxer: they are locked in a battle of relationship bitterness so ugly and foul that it has brought out the deepest most negative traits in both of them, thereby causing them to take it to the Thunderdome  field of play called RACE.

If you love your kids don't make them have to watch that!! And there's this 100% full proof way to avoid it: DON'T FUCK RACISTS!!!

THE END

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